⠀
In this article series we’re covering better writing and how you get your customers glued to their screen while they devour your marketing. If you haven’t checked out the previous two instalments, they’re here: https://www.philipsbruno.com/post/get-more-sales-by-improving-your-writing & https://www.philipsbruno.com/post/get-more-sales-by-improving-your-writing-part-2-the-undefeated-bar-test
⠀
You know what really kills sales?
⠀
Being boooooooooooring.
⠀
And the most boring thing in the world is something called “waffling”.
⠀
You might not know the term but once I show you some examples you’ll start seeing it everywhere.
⠀
How To Recognize And Ruthlessly Kill Your Waffling
⠀
Take a look at this sentence:
⠀
“The meeting will be held at five and what will be discussed is ‘the sorry state of business writing.”
⠀
Or this one:
⠀
“I’m reaching out to you because we've been in the process of developing a new marketing system geared towards the generation of leads for home service businesses.“
⠀
Or this one:
⠀
“I know you’re probably busy and I don’t want to take too much of your time since your schedule is probably packed.”
⠀
You know what they have in common?
⠀
They’re WAFFLING. There’s so much passive, weak, neutered language there.
⠀
You’re supposed to cut through all the clutter and noise. Trying to cut through the noise with waffling language is like trying to cut down a tree with a floppy spaghetti strand. Won’t work.
⠀
We need a chainsaw.
⠀
Cutting Through The Clutter With Active Language
⠀
Alright, let’s fix these dreadful sentences.
⠀
“The meeting will be held at five and what will be discussed is ‘the sorry state of business writing.”
⠀
Boring wet noodle of a sentence.
⠀
Here’s an active version.
⠀
“The meeting’s at five. Subject: ‘the sorry state of business writing’.”
⠀
See how that’s much more to the point?
⠀
Next one:
⠀
“I’m reaching out to you because we've been in the process of developing a new marketing system geared towards the generation of leads for home service businesses.“
⠀
Yawn. Let’s fix this.
⠀
“Reaching out because we generate leads for home service businesses. Would that be of interest to you?“
⠀
To the point. Concise. Compendious.
⠀
Last one:
⠀
“I know you’re probably busy and I don’t want to take too much of your time since your schedule is probably packed.”
⠀
Ok. This is easy. Look:
⠀
“.”
⠀
That’s it. The entire sentence doesn’t do anything! Why are we telling someone that he’s busy and we want to keep it brief?
⠀
Just by writing these words we’re wasting time. Which is the last thing you want to do, right?
⠀
The Death Of Waffling
⠀
Let’s stop using passive language. Let’s stop being so careful, so timid, using castrated language.
⠀
Write like you’re breaking down doors, kicking down fences, storming the barricades.
⠀
Take charge in your language and see your sales and results soar.
⠀
Talk soon,
⠀
Phil
⠀
P.S. Want to know how I’d make sure we’d eradicate waffling and keep your prospects glued to their screen, unable to stop consuming your content?
⠀
Get in touch with my agency today. If we’re a good fit I will personally take a look at your company and your marketing, come up with a strategy of what I’d do differently and discuss it with you in depth on a call.
⠀
No cost, no obligation.
⠀
If you want to work together I’ll tell you exactly how that works, if you don’t want to work together that’s fine too. No hard selling, no pressure, no annoying sales tactics.
⠀
Sounds good? Then fill out this form: https://www.philipsbruno.com/contact-us
Comments